Western Christianity often provides us with a mental image of Mary, the mother of Jesus, as an unwed pregnant teenager. This clearly has roots in modern Christians not understanding the Hebrew marriage practices of the time. Such a misunderstanding may cause us to miss some very important concepts about God and His people. Marriage is the model in the Old Testament for describing the relationship between God and the Hebrew people. Marriage is also the model in the New Testament for the relationship between God and Christian believers. Awareness of this model of marriage relationships helps us understand “who” we are in God’s Kingdom, as well as providing insight into many Biblical stories.
Very importantly, a lack of cultural insight makes it difficult to wrap our thoughts around Mary’s thoughts and response to the news she would soon be pregnant (and similarly how Joseph dealt with that news). In Mary’s world, society would not consider her an unwed mother, but rather an unfaithful wife. Effectively, the rules in her world dictated that Mary be stoned to death unless Roman authorities decided to protect her. The other option was fleeing justice, never see her family again, and to, most probably, become a prostitute. Also note that Joseph’s initial response is to give here a letter of divorcement so she could just quietly go away. This makes her response to the messenger of God all the more amazing, for Mary’s options in that society should be terrifying for a young teenage girl.
So, first let us review some of the English translations concerning the relationship between Mary and Joseph found in Matthew 1:18-19:
This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.
Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
New International Version
This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Joseph, her fiance, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.
New Living Translation
Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.
And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
English Standard Verfsion
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.
And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.
New American Standard Bible
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.
King James Version
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was like this; for after his mother, Mary, was engaged to Joseph, before they came together, she was found pregnant by the Holy Spirit.
Joseph, her husband, being a righteous man, and not willing to make her a public example, intended to put her away secretly.
World English Bible
This is how Jesus Christ was born. A young woman named Mary was engaged to Joseph from King David’s family. But before they were married, she learned that she was going to have a baby by God’s Holy Spirit. Joseph was a good man and did not want to embarrass Mary in front of everyone. So he decided to quietly call off the wedding.
Contemporary English Bible
This is an example of why we should not get “comfortable” with just one translation in our studies. We might even have to consider if some translators were either incompetent, or intentionally mischaracterizing the relationship between Mary and Joseph. On difficult subjects it is sometimes helpful to look at literal translations from languages or cultures related to the original. For example, in this case a look at the Orthodox Jewish Bible (not quoted here because of possible copyright issues … To view click this, and look at verses 18-20 –>> Biblehub Orthodox Jewish Bible Matthew 1 ) uses a Hebrew term “enusin” (also in some cases, kiddushin) in verse 18 concerning Mary’s relationship to Joseph. God’s messenger speaking to Joseph states Joseph should not hesitate to complete the two part marriage process, or “nisuin” (also in some cases, nissu’in or nissuin). We will explore “enusin” and “nissuin” as we proceed through this study.
If we understand Hebrew marriage concepts better, it will shed light on many scriptures. For example: From a Hebrew perspective the first five books of the Old Testament are essentially a betrothal contract describing the terms and conditions of the relationship between God and the Hebrew nation. This contract is called a Ketubah.
The Ketubah is presented to a Bride and her family, and must be accepted or rejected. Scripture example concerning a “Ketubah” from God:
Exodus 19:7-8:
7 Moses came and called for the elders of the people, and set before them all these words which Yahweh commanded him. 8 All the people answered together, and said, “All that Yahweh has spoken we will do.” Moses reported the words of the people to Yahweh.
World English Bible
After acceptance of the Ketubah, there must be a sanctification: This seen in modern Jewish custom as the Bridal Mikvah, or washing of the bride. An continuation of the story in Exodus gives a model of this with respect to this –
Exodus 19:10-11:
World English Bible
10 Yahweh said to Moses, “Go to the people, and sanctify them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their garments, 11 and be ready against the third day; for on the third day Yahweh will come down in the sight of all the people on Mount Sinai.
Well, you get the idea … there are OT examples that are clearly, in the ancient Hebrew mind, related to the marriage customs and the concept that the nation of Israel is the Bride of God. We will also begin to see them in the New Testament, with the church as the Bride of Christ.
So, on to more detail about the marriage process practiced by ancient Hebrews:
First is the matchmaking stage for the arranged marriage, or the “Shiddukhin”:
- Generally the Fathers of the prospective couple negotiate the marriage and the Bride must accept the conditions approved by the heads of both the Bride’s and the Groom’s heads family. There is a formal contract for betrothal (actually more appropriately for the marriage as a whole): the Ketubah. A Ketubah is presented by the groom. The Ketubah states the terms and conditions, basically what the groom is obligated to provide (bride price, protection, a home, etc.), and must be accepted by the Bride. This contract is intended to protect the interest of the Bride.
If the Ketubah is accepted, then begins the Erusin:
Erusin literally means “bound”. It is a state of marriage practice much more profound than our Western concept of being engaged or promised. In ancient Judea, the bound state of Erusin could only be broken by the practice of divorce. Historically, some Rabbis taught that it was less sinful to go ahead and complete the final marriage ceremony and then immediately divorce rather than break the contract of Erusin by divorce.
So, the Fathers negotiate the Ketubah … Then the Groom and his Father go to the Bride’s house and knock on the door. If the Ketubah is accepted, the Bride opens the door and Groom and Father enter and partake of a covenant meal of bread and wine. Are we starting to see elements of Hebrew marriage customs in the New Testament yet? How about —-
Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.
World English Bible
We are now in the Erusin, or Betrothal stage – After this private meal shared by the Bride, Father of the Bride, Groom, and Father of the Groom at the home of the Father of the Bride, there is then a public ceremony. Before this public display the Bride and Groom both undergo a Mikvah, or ritual bath for spiritual cleansing.
The Bride and Groom then stand under a chuppah (covering) and the Groom gives his chattan (groom’s gift, typically a coin of value as a commitment to come back for the bride … today we use a ring) to the Bride. Three copies of the Ketubah are signed; a copy for the father of the bride, a copy for the married couple, and a sealed copy for a local judicial court.
Everything is sealed with the First Cup of the wedding process, the Kidduhin or Cup of Sanctification, seals the first stage of marriage = a Covenant of Sanctification between Bride and Groom ←At this point it takes a divorce to terminate the process.
Consummation of the marriage and cohabitation come later: Historically, up to a year would elapse between the Erusin and the Nissuin (The Nuptials or Wedding Ceremony). So, both the bride and groom prepare for their life together, including activities such as making a wedding dress, preparing a place to live, etc.
Hosting separate Erusin and Nissuin celebrations proved to be expensive. The long period in between the two events was a problem as well. Who knew what sorts of sickness, strife and temptation would arise in the intervening year? So, by the end of the eleventh century A.D., most communities had combined the two ceremonies.
However, in the time of the New Testament, the Groom goes back to his Father’s house to prepare a place for his Bride. Even if the Groom could afford to make a separate household from his Father’s home, the initial place for him and his bride, out of respect for the Groom’s Father, would likely be an apartment added on to his Father’s house.
READ:
John 14:
World English Bible
1 “Don’t let your heart be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many homes. If it weren’t so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and will receive you to myself; that where I am, you may be there also.”
So, both the bride and groom prepare for their life together during the Erusin, including common things like making a wedding dress, preparing a place to live, etc.
After these preparations, maybe one year, comes the “Nissuin” (the Nuptials or Wedding Ceremony). The Nissuin includes a ritual cleansing ceremony or Mikvah: This is why we see, at the wedding at Cana, large vessels of stone (ceremonially clean stone) for performing the Mikvah:
John 2:1 The third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there. 2 Jesus also was invited, with his disciples, to the marriage. 3 When the wine ran out, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that have to do with you and me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever he says to you, do it.” 6 Now there were six water pots of stone set there after the Jews’ way of purifying, containing two or three metretes apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the water pots with water.” They filled them up to the brim. 8 He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the ruler of the feast.” So they took it. 9 When the ruler of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and didn’t know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the ruler of the feast called the bridegroom, 10 and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when the guests have drunk freely, then that which is worse. You have kept the good wine until now!” 11 This beginning of his signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
World English Bible
We are familiar with the story about the Bridesmaids – where the Groom comes at night to the Brides house: He is accompanied by his groomsmen, and the bridesmaids are standing watch with the Bride … awaiting the sounding of the shofar (ram’s horn) to initiate the ceremony (that might last days) with the bridesmaids running out with lamps to join the groomsmen, who have torches, to escort the Groom to the Bride —
Matthew 25(WEB): 1 “Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten virgins, who took their lamps, and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 Those who were foolish, when they took their lamps, took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 Now while the bridegroom delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Behold! The bridegroom is coming! Come out to meet him!’ 7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. 8 The foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘What if there isn’t enough for us and you? You go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ 10 While they went away to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. 11 Afterward the other virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us.’ 12 But he answered, ‘Most certainly I tell you, I don’t know you.’ 13 Watch therefore, for you don’t know the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.
World English Bible
The Second Cup of Wine, Nisu’in (Lifted Up) and Chuppuh (Canopy, Covering, or Protection), seals the second stage = a Covenant of Protection ←This begins the stage where the couple live together, prior to this the Bride stayed in her father’s house.
So, let us apply this insight into Hebrew culture to our Christmas story in Luke 1—
The Birth of Jesus Foretold
Luke 1:26 Now in the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin pledged to be married to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28 Having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, you highly favored one! The Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women!” 29 But when she saw him, she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered what kind of salutation this might be. 30 The angel said to her, “Don’t be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 Behold, you will conceive in your womb, and bring forth a son, and will call his name ‘Jesus.’ 32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father, David, 33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever. There will be no end to his Kingdom.” 34 Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, seeing I am a virgin?” 35 The angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore also the holy one who is born from you will be called the Son of God. 36 Behold, Elizabeth, your relative, also has conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37 For everything spoken by God is possible.” 38 Mary said, “Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it to me according to your word.” The angel departed from her.Mary Visits Elizabeth
39 Mary arose in those days and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Judah, 40 and entered into the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth. 41 It happened, when Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, that the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. 42 She called out with a loud voice, and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43 Why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 For behold, when the voice of your greeting came into my ears, the baby leaped in my womb for joy! 45 Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of the things which have been spoken to her from the Lord!”Mary’s Song of Praise (1 Samuel 2:1-11)
46 Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord.
47 My spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior,
48 for he has looked at the humble state of his handmaid. For behold, from now on, all generations will call me blessed.
49 For he who is mighty has done great things for me. Holy is his name.
50 His mercy is for generations of generations on those who fear him.
51 He has shown strength with his arm. He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
52 He has put down princes from their thrones. And has exalted the lowly.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things. He has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has given help to Israel, his servant, that he might remember mercy,
55 As he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and his seed forever.”
56 Mary stayed with her about three months, and then returned to her house.
World English Bible
So what stands out about Mary’s response? Keep in mind now, in light of our study, that from a Jewish perspective Mary is a WIFE, she cannot break her ties of marriage, whereas Joseph, her husband may do so in accordance with Mosaic Law if the reason is infidelity. She knows Joseph is not the father of this child, and certainly Joseph will realize he is not the father of his Wife’s child. Infidelity can result in a community verdict demanding death by stoning, which the Roman authorities might not allow … but still a young girl stuck in a small town of people who believe they have the right to stone her to death … ponder that predicament awhile).
- Pause for a moment to consider Joseph’s thoughts – We know from Jewish teachings that someone is considered a wife if one of three things happen: money exchanges hands between families to bind the marriage, a marriage contract is executed, or a couple (not married to anyone else) has sexual intercourse. So Joseph knows that if people think Mary’s child is his, then the thought would be they have now consummated the second part of the marriage ritual (i.e. they were already man and wife, they simply did not properly follow the ritual marriage protocols). If he divorces her because he knows he is not the father, she would have to be sent away quietly because that would mean she was guilty of infidelity … warranting being stoned to death — which the Romans might or might not prevent, if they did, her only likely option, should she live, would likely be to become a prostitute.
Certainly Mary knows these things … and historical records indicate she was probably no older than 14 years. The prospect of her community and Joseph believing she is an adulteress, pregnant by an unknown father who is not her husband should be terrifying — the only likely consequences are death by stoning or being put out of her home and community with no possible way of ever being a normal member of society — truly a death sentence or a life of a bond slave or prostitute for some gentile master … Yet, her response is …
38 Mary said, “Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it to me according to your word.” The angel departed from her.
And
46 Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord.
47 My spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior,
48 for he has looked at the humble state of his handmaid. For behold, from now on, all generations will call me blessed.
49 For he who is mighty has done great things for me. Holy is his name.
50 His mercy is for generations of generations on those who fear him.
World English Bible
In a previous study we looked at Faith as a gift of God’s grace that is essentially God’s warranty that guarantees the fulfillment of the revelation He births within the receptive believer.
So, did Mary have FAITH?
If so, what was the source of that faith?